"Your pretty typeface is goin' to hell/My heart is broken so I'm goin' to hell/Loganbury me way down deep in hell/I'm a steel drivin' man, I wanna go to HELL !!"
A few weeks ago I received a mysterious chapbook from a man with a mysterious name. The address inside the book said Chicago so I was intrigued and sent an e-mail to the e-mail address printed inside the cover. I read the wonderfully cryptic collection of poems and inventive pieces of wordplay, DADA, nonsense and anagrams. I then sent some question to the e-mail address, and a weeks time I received two more packages. The return address on the thicker of the two read "NO TICKEE/NO WASHEE ENTERPRIZES" and the address on the other was "HUGH HEFFER, THE PLAYBORE MAN$ION, HOMELY HILLS, KKKALIFORNIKKKATION, 96969". It was either that anthrax that I always thought was coming my way, or the answers to the questions that I had e-mailed Chicago writer Bradley Lastname.
Here are the questions that I had e-mailed:
1. Your latest chapbook, Your Pretty Typeface Is Going To Hell, is
hilarious and inventive. What can you tell us about it?
2. How did you first become fascinated with word play and DADA writing?
3. You are also an artist. How would best describe your art?
4. I can't find any information on the press of the third mind, is
that your press? Do you print these by hand?
5. Living in Chicago, what is your take on the Chicago literature in general?
6. What's next for Bradley Lastname?
1. Coffee? If yes, where can you find the best cup in Chicago?
2. What type of music do you listen to, and who are a few of your favorites?
Bradley did send abridged answer via e-mail in all caps.
"YOUR PRETTY TYPEFACE IS GOING TO HELL" IS A FUSION OF THE IGGY SONG "YOUR PRETTY FACE IS GOING 2 HELL" AND THE GUN CLUB SONG "YOU LOOK JUST LIKE AN ELVIS FROM HELL." YOU ASKED ABOUT MUSIC,,,OBVIOUSLY I AM A HUGE IGGY FAN, ALONG WITH GUN CLUB, CRAMPS, TAV FALCO PANTHER BURNS, KID CONGO, DIAMANDA GALAS, SISTERS OF MERCY, GO TO THE PITCHFORK DUMPSTER ON THURSDAYS BEHIND NORTH AVENUE IF YOU WANT 2,3874,692,801 FREE D.V.D.'S AND C.D.'S AND T-SHIRTS AND STICKERS AND PRESS-KITS THAT THEY THROW OUT, SOME COMPLETELY UNOPENED. IT'S A TREASURE TROVE. INTELLIGENTSIA COFFEE IS THE FRESHEST; IT'S ROASTED EVERY DAY IN THEIR OWN ROASTERS. CARIBOU ICED COFFEE IS TASTY, BUT THEIR HOT COFFEE IS TOO WATERY FOR ME. ARGO COFFEE I DIG MUCHO, AND I HOPE THEY ARE ABLE TO OPEN SOME MORE OUTLETS. THERE ARE 5 OR 6 LOCAL INDEPENDENT "MA AND PA" SHOPPES IN MY IMMEDIATE NEIGHBORHOOD WHERE I GO. STARBUCKS COFFEE TASTES LIKE A CUP OF HOT WATER THAT SOMEBODY SWISHED A PAINTBRUSH OF BROWN ACRYLIC PAINT AROUND IN IT. AND IT'S BURNED !!!! NO COFFEE SHOULD TASTE BURNED !!! SCHULTZ IS A UNION BUSTING PRICK AND MEGALOMANIAC WHO WILL ROAST IN HIS OWN COFFEE ROASTER WHEN HE GETS TO HELL.
The contents of the smaller of the two packages (which had a Gapers Block Transmission Sticker on it, very nice) contained a print out of an article called, I Ate Armenian Meatballs with Bradley Lastname.
Below is the remainder of my interview with the mysterious BRADLEY LASTNAME.
To obtain a copy of YOUR PRETTY TYPEFACE IS GOING TO HELL, you can e-mail Bradley at bradleylastname [AT] hotmail.com.