Michael: A boss is like a teacher. And I am like the cool teacher. Like Mr. Handell. Mr. Handell would hang out with us. And he would tell us awesome jokes. And he actually hooked up with one of the students. Um, and then like twelve other kids came forward. It was in all the papers. Really ruined eighth grade for us.
Angela: Poop is raining from the ceilings. Poop!
Michael: You cannot learn from books. Replace these pages with life lessons. And then you will have a book that is worth its weight in gold. I know these are expensive. But the lesson is priceless.
Michael: There are four kinds of business. Tourism. Food service. Railroads. And sales. And hospitals/manufacturing. And air travel.
Dwight: If a vampire bat was in the U.S., it would make sense for it to come to a “-sylvania.” Like Penn-sylvania. Now that doesn’t mean that Jim is going to become a vampire. Only that he carries the vampiric germ.
Michael: We can’t overestimate the value of computers. Yes, they are great for playing games and forwarding funny emails. But real business is done on paper, okay?
Dwight: I don’t have a lot of experience with vampires. But I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor’s dog.